2014 Epiphanies

Comments, experiences, awakenings from January 6th 2014 and beyond.

By John M. Kohlenberger

MY NEW EPIPHANY
 
TODAY (5 January 2014): I went to an OLLI presentation of "The Cave of Dreams" (A Gouffe in the Alps-Provence area of France).
Afterward, one of the older (than me) ladys was remembering being in my OLLI class right after that.
My epiphany today was when she told me that she feels that I am healed, now.  (well almost)
And, just yesterday I was reading [in the book, "Your Soul's Gift"] a chapter about death of a loved one where the advice was to go with the emotions, don't deny your humanity and eventually the tears will include the joy of remembering good times and moments to savor (YES I HAVE BEEN THERE FOR A FEW MONTHS NOW) as the trauma of the event transforms.  As tears are cleansing, then, according to the author, you will get to the point of letting the loved one progress in their own way as you let yourself move forward in yours.  However, I believe, we shall meet again and share our stories in joy and love.

So, now I'm ready to start the "Hospice Volunteer" training so I can share some of the love, experiences and knowlege I have gained through this whole process. 

Finally, I can thank Martine for leaving me me THIS GIFT OF LOVE, in her life and in her passing!

A MESSAGE FROM HEAVEN:

Martine wants you to know that she 'loves' her tree!

A POST MORTUM

By the 4th or 5th of October, 2012, the day we were told that the doctors had punctured Martine's intestinal tract, I knew that she might die due to sepsis, though one of the doctors assured me that "today we can pretty well keep that under control with drugs" or words to that effect.  That night I went to sleep crying at the prospect of that my wife might die, and then I thought of the words of Jesus ..."Father, take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”, thinking that there might be a golden gift that I might receive, that I could not see right then - even if it meant Martine's death.

Have I found that golden treasure?  I don't know, but there have been many gifts along the way, during this past year of my life.

Do I miss her, today?  Absolutely, and yet I sometimes know that she is "right here" beside me, too.  This is a new experience (another gift) for me as well.  And, likely, this was all arranged between our souls before we came into physical reality ... so that I might grow.

In 2012, between Thanksgiving and Christmas, before moving to the "Rehab" hospital, Martine had me bring in a boom box so she could hear "Christmas music".  Several nurses (at the critical care hospital) told me that they enjoyed coming into Martine's room, because "it feels so good with that Christmas music".  She left many in good spirits.

In the end, Martine's body did not die due to sepsis ... her "release" was started by dehydration, aided by a leak in her abdominal incision (made to "clean her out") and possibly an under staffed "Rehab" hospital, not giving her water to drink, though she was "cleared" to drink and not watching her body fluid levels closely.  But even that "science", so they told me in the ICU (back at her original hospital) is not exact.  The dehydration, then caused an electrolyte (sodium/potassium) imbalance which, according to several EEGs and an MRI, put Martine's cerebral cortex out of commission and "seriously compromised the brain stem".

I kept a positive attitude all through the process and by the last month found myself living "unconditional love" for my Lovely wife. (another gift)  Several nurses remarked about my positive attitude.

So, at this point, I have no regrets.  It was what it had to me.  Martine told me many times that her astrological chart said the she would woirk all her life and then die.  Pretty close to what happened!  Would I do it over again, knowing what I know now?  ABSOLUTELY

February 27 2014 - I (John) had a tooth pulled today.   Interestingly, it seemed that Martine was there for me, with me, in the dentist's office.  I first noticed her presence while in the waiting room. Then, in the dentist's chair as the dental technician was holding the impression tray in place, in my mouth, it felt like Martine had HER arms around me.  What a loving feeling!

Later, Martine told me (by thought impression) that she could never do this while in the body and working every day, though she often would have wanted to accompany me to the doctor or dentist - as she liked me to go with her.. So, this was a new and loving experience ... for both of us!

This whole episode caught my attention because I wasn't "expecting" to sense her presence, at all.  Like most of us, I thought I was "alone".  But, we're never alone, as we're all "connected", in love. (Believe it or not)

NOTE: Martine told me, last July or August, "I may be dead, but I'm not gone."

And a good medium friend has told me that Martine said, "If you need me, just
call, you know I'll be there".

Our Love Connections never die, for Love Is ... All-There-Is!

And then it dawned on me that she is alive, not dead and this is where she now lives, all happy, healthy and well ... off!